tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-40418463278456231612024-03-13T05:21:48.217-07:00the eleventh hourCynthiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03483385015410426583noreply@blogger.comBlogger71125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4041846327845623161.post-54442922948444807352012-05-01T10:16:00.000-07:002012-05-01T10:16:10.396-07:00http://tellthemnothing.blogspot.com/2012/05/end.htmlgoodbye you guys. we're leaving and we're not coming back. all four of us. it's not safe to stay here anymore. besides, it's not like there's anything left.<br />
<br />
mommy is...happy in heaven. she's happy and she can't hurt anymore.<br />
<br />
and i have a little brother now and i'll take care of him when daddy can't. we're gonna be okay, everything is gonna be alright.<br />
<br />
it's all gonna be alright.Cynthiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03483385015410426583noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4041846327845623161.post-6694307577339658102012-04-13T16:19:00.000-07:002012-04-13T16:19:30.089-07:00Hey. It's Cynthia. My body is still a little sore but otherwise, I'm fine. There's not much to say. Simon is still healing and Dad has been taking better care of us.<br />
<br />
I'm tired. How are you guys?Cynthiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03483385015410426583noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4041846327845623161.post-60084586534099462702012-04-02T19:54:00.000-07:002012-04-02T19:54:32.568-07:00It's hard to type. My hands a sore even though that...<i>thing </i>didn't even do anything to them. I've been released from the hospital along with Cynthia and we're back at the house with Tony. Cynthia, while a strong young girl, is obviously alarmed by everything that happened. She's terrified that the monster who plagued her is going to come back any moment and she swears that she sees it everywhere now. I'm unsure what this means but I'm guessing it's not good.<br />
<br />
I take back what I said before. My entire body is sore. Tony didn't want me typing but I figured I owed everyone an explanation. The Caretaker...he's just a normal looking man. He's around Tony's height and dark haired and eyed. He had a beard and honestly was very hairy all around. I'm guessing he's somewhere around the age of fifty or so. Maybe a little younger. Just in case any of you see him...which I highly doubt of course, but I guess I can try and warn you all.<br />
<br />
I had just got home from work and I was exhausted. I don't really remember what I was doing, I just know that the Caretaker suddenly stepped out from behind the corner and smashed me over the head with a frying pan. When I woke up my head was pounding and I was tied to one of the kitchen chairs. Everything was fuzzy and it was hard to focus-apparently I took quite a bruising on my skull-but I do remember the Caretaker not wasting any time with suddenly sticking me with a sewing needle. He asked me if I remembered mother and if I wanted to know if she missed me and then I just...froze up.<br />
<br />
My mother...my mother is insane. When I was young my father left my family leaving my little sister and I to deal with mother. Something inside her snapped that day, I think. She started with verbal abuse, neglecting my sister and I and only communicating to insult us and tell us how much she loathed to see us. I could handle it, I kept telling myself that she was just sad and she couldn't help it. That's when she began to physically abuse me. I wouldn't let her touch my sister, she was the closest thing I had. Her abuse was unique. She would stick me with her sewing needles or other pointed objects and tell me that I deserved it. I would go to school in long sleeve shirts and pants even when it was ninety degrees outside and always told the other kids I wasn't bothered at all. In truth I drifted away from those children until they found me as a "geek" or "nerd" and decided to bully me as well. For a year I hated going to school and coming home. I would take my sister out into the woods and we would pretend we were in a new house, a better one with the father who left us because surely he was better than that woman.<br />
<br />
One afternoon I came home alone. My sister had stayed home due to catching the flu. I didn't want to leave her alone with mother but she threatened me until I went to school. I called for the both of them but no one answered. When I finally found them...she had drowned her in the bathtub. She took my little sister, my world, and drowned her and then walked into another room to sew like nothing had happened.<br />
<br />
When the police came and took her away, I can't remember much. In fact that period of my life is fuzzy at best. I do recall the court case. She pleaded insanity and was sent to a mental institute to spend her days. She didn't <i>have </i>to pay for taking the life of the only person I cared about. She got to spend everyday knowing that she <i>murdered my sister </i>and <i>fucking got away with it.</i> I decided then that I was going to become a police officer to make sure people like her couldn't get away without the proper punishment.<br />
<br />
When I heard of the Delmont case, I related to it immediately. A father who left a wife and his child alone. The child goes missing and the mother isn't arrested. I looked for her as hard as I could. I was determined to make sure that what happened to me wouldn't happen to Cynthia. I thought-I don't know, I thought that I could fix everything. I couldn't of course. We've all seen that. I'm a joke to everyone, including the police force.<br />
<br />
So there you go, that's why I acted so rashly and was so focused on finding Cathy Delmont. I'm taking some time off of the job. Or, my boss told me to. Tony is going to make sure I heal properly, I guess, and take care of Cynthia as well. I think what happened was a wake up call to him. He poured all the alcohol down the drain this morning and told me to not buy anymore.<br />
<br />
-SimonCynthiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03483385015410426583noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4041846327845623161.post-72125037601617372262012-03-30T20:39:00.000-07:002012-03-30T20:39:29.941-07:00It's Tony.Cynthia's therapist was a fuckin' minion. She attacked her near the end of her most recent session and the girl--being the brave little spitfuck she is-- fought back and ran. According to Simon, who basically saw the entire fight outside of the building, Cynthia was running as fast as she could out of the place with that woman hot on her heels. Cynthia headed straight into the middle of the road and got hit by an oncoming car. Of course the car tried to stop when the driver saw her so she didn't get hit by a steel death machine at seventy miles per hour or something. It knocked her off of her feet and she smacked her head pretty good--got knocked out and bruised up pretty bad.<br />
<br />
Simon pulled over and ran over to her, and then called 911. Fucking moron completely forgot he <i>is </i>911 in his panic but managed to get an ambulance over there pretty fast. The minion ran away before Simon could ask her what the hell happened. As soon as he called me I fucking got to the hospital on heel and I've been staying with Cynthia as long as I can everyday. She woke up and told me what happened pretty soon after everything cooled down and I'm pissed that I didn't know about the minion being a minion. I swear I'm gonna murder that bitch if I ever catch her again.<br />
<br />
The reason I'm writing instead of Simon is because the poor little fucker got attacked yesterday. I was at the hospital when that Caretaker guy or whatever he calls himself broke into the house. I think Simon was taking a nap or something cause' next thing he knows is that that psycho is attacking him and tying him to a kitchen chair. What happened next...well...Simon got stuck like a pincushion. Knives, needles, anything sharp were being used from what I was told. The Caretaker ran away as soon as I got home, just in time for me to catch him cutting through the backyard and leaving Simon dazed and bloody in the kitchen.<br />
<br />
So now I got my daughter and my..."caretaker", I guess, in the hospital. This is bullshit--what the hell did Simon ever do to provoke that bastard?!<br />
<br />
What's worse is that the method he used to torture Simon apparently has been used before on the little guy. Many, many times, in fact, when he was younger. I didn't know but...I'll let Simon explain everything if he wants to. Let's just say I get why he was so obsessed with our family and finding Cathy.<br />
<br />
Fuck. I need a drink but I know a drink won't help these two. Guess this means I'm the only one left not hurt which is ironic since usually it's the other way around.Cynthiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03483385015410426583noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4041846327845623161.post-1393376420459480322012-03-26T10:32:00.000-07:002012-03-26T10:32:56.870-07:00I'm sorry I haven't updated in a few weeks. Things have gotten much, much more tense around the house. I'll explain in greater detail later but Cynthia is currently in the hospital--she's going to be alright, just shook up more than anything--and Tony is going to be staying with her as much as he can. I'll be here at the house to take care of it so...<br />
<br />
I think something bad is about to happen.<br />
<br />
-SimonCynthiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03483385015410426583noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4041846327845623161.post-82571436477042786872012-03-13T21:31:00.000-07:002012-03-13T21:31:40.542-07:00Everyday I go to work, make sure Cynthia gets to her therapist appointment, make sure Tony is fed and not too drunk to cause a scene, and then get back late enough to fix a small meal for myself and maybe watch whatever is on the television. If you had told me this time last year that I would be taking care of a drunkard, sociopathic father and his not-technically-related-but-equally-crazy-daughter while looking for their psychotic, one armed, pregnant mother, I would have called you all idiots and then tried to see if I could arrest you. But things have changed and I don't know how they've managed to get so screwed up.<div><br />
</div><div>I'm having these nightmares. It's me but it's myself and my younger self. And younger me looks so scared like something is coming to get him. I know it's not that monster-- I just know it's not!! It's something worse. It's the woman I was scared of for so many years of my life. But she's teamed up with the monster and I can't escape, I can only watch. This nightmare keeps replaying over and over every night. I hardly get any sleep anymore! I don't know how I haven't passed out yet. I figure it's the coffee that keeps me going.</div><div><br />
</div><div>I'm starting to see things too. Little flashes in the corners of my eyes, like something is there but vanishes when I look. Is this normal for a victim?? Am I going to go crazy? What do I do to stop this??? Tony and Cynthia seem to be holding up fine but I'm getting worse and worse and I don't know what to do...</div><div><br />
</div><div>-Simon</div>Cynthiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03483385015410426583noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4041846327845623161.post-73649329556770313812012-03-06T12:55:00.000-08:002012-03-06T12:55:59.928-08:00I don't know how Tony can stay so calm when weird things are happening but I guess I can blame it on all the alcohol he intakes. For the last several weeks it has been hell. I don't know why Tony isn't talking to you all about it since you're the ones who know what he's going through. It's not like he talks to me or Cynthia at all.<br />
<br />
The photographs haven't stopped. In fact, they've gotten worse. Well, at least for me. I haven't really said why I'm so agitated to Cynthia or Tony and I know they'll read this later and want to talk then, but for now I guess I'll tell faceless teenagers on the internet why I'm so paranoid. The pictures aren't sent to my house anymore. Instead I find them at the police station. And they're not pictures of Cynthia or Tony, though the two do appear in the backgrounds at times. They're pictures of <i>me</i>.<br />
<br />
Tony told me about this Caretaker man who apparently doesn't like me and it makes me very uneasy to know that someone out there, some "minion" as Tony calls them, seems to have targeted me. I've never really had to handle something like this before so I don't know what these people are capable of!! I've been burning the pictures but they keep showing up, one after another. Is this all they do? Do they just leave photographs for their victims to get scared of??<br />
<br />
I'm at a loss. I don't know how I'm supposed to protect myself and I can't exactly complain about it to Cynthia and Tony. Tony has his crazy-now-homicidal wife to watch out for and Cynthia keeps seeing that <i>thing </i>everywhere. She sleeps with me or Tony now even though she's been trying to avoid mentioning it or being affected by it.<br />
<br />
In short I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm going to have to handle this problem alone but what does that mean is going to happen? Can anyone help me?<br />
<br />
-Simon RadlerCynthiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03483385015410426583noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4041846327845623161.post-69693117472858961042012-02-07T07:56:00.000-08:002012-02-07T07:56:15.040-08:00This was not good...im writing this from simons phone so its really hard but i had to tell you guys. yesterday i checked the mail and there were pictures of the house and the three of us. whoever took them got really close but we never saw him...not even tony.<br />
<br />
i dont know what this means but tony got really paranoid and didnt want me to get on the computer just in case anything weird was sent through it too.<br />
<br />
i hope this doesnt mean that something bad is gonna happen.Cynthiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03483385015410426583noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4041846327845623161.post-81050954805539702402012-01-11T17:21:00.000-08:002012-01-11T17:21:19.776-08:00Happy Birthday to meI didn't really wanna put this up here but I guess I will. Today is my birthday. I'm twelve years old now but I don't really feel different at all.<br />
<br />
Responses:<br />
<br />
Ryuu- Yeah...I liked it better when it was quieter at Simon's house. Now things are worse. But I'm happy you're okay.<br />
<br />
Elaine- You have a little girl now?<br />
<br />
Neo- I hope yours gets...quieter, I guess? That sounds like a lot of work.<br />
<br />
Sage- I'm glad you aren't. I hope you'll keep going too...Cynthiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03483385015410426583noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4041846327845623161.post-22251359726805828492012-01-10T15:04:00.000-08:002012-01-10T15:04:55.550-08:00Sorry I've been quiet.It's been really bad around the house. Dad isn't happy and he's been drinking a lot more when we found out about Ava...<br />
<br />
Ava we never really talked that much, but if we got along even when I was crazy, I think we would have been awesome friends. I wish I could have talked more to you and I hope that you're happy in Heaven.<br />
<br />
Simon has a lot more work since New Years Eve and I guess it's because he got to stay home during it. I've been having to go to my therapists more because Simon is afraid that Mom and Ava affected me even worse. I guess it's fine that he cares and stuff but it's not like I can tell her one of my friends is dead and my Mom is missing and trying to kill my Dad. I dunno if a normal life is good for me anymore.<br />
<br />
.....how are you guys doing?Cynthiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03483385015410426583noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4041846327845623161.post-55035891834990374992011-12-25T06:51:00.000-08:002011-12-25T06:51:43.921-08:00Merry ChristmasThanks to everyone who helped me and kept going with me since January! c:<br />
<br />
Yeah yeah, all you little bastards keep your trouble making asses outta shit and try not create panic and potential ways to get yourself killed before this year ends. Goddamn kids.<br />
<br />
Tony could have been more eloquent, but that's what I would have expected from a mean old alcoholic. Merry Christmas everyone and hopefully you might not hate me as much now!!<br />
<br />
From,<br />
Cynthia Delmont, Anthony Delmont and Officer Simon RadlerCynthiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03483385015410426583noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4041846327845623161.post-26975269776956734172011-12-22T13:49:00.000-08:002011-12-22T13:49:30.683-08:00We decorated the treeIt's pretty last minute and we only did it because Simon made Dad agree. I don't know if me or Dad wanted to do anything with Christmas but I guess Simon thought it would be a good thing for me to do. I went up to the attic today because that's where all the ornaments were. From all the dust up there I think Simon hasn't done Christmas in a while.<br />
<br />
It was cool to see the kinds of things up there though. All this old stuff that he probably forgot about. There were books and boxes and tons of other things. I kind of forgot to even get the ornaments for the little tree we got for a while because I wanted to look around. That's how I found some old picture albums. I think they were from when Simon was little because they had dates and names on them. Simon hasn't really ever talked to us about his life even though he knows basically all of everything we went through. I guess that's sort of weird but he's a nice guy...<br />
<br />
Anyway so there were a ton of pictures. And they were all of his family too, I think. There were his mom and dad and little sister. All four of them look so happy, like some picture perfect sort of family that would be on tv, y'know? I don't know why he doesn't have any of these up in the house because when I came down I realized that I've never seen any family pictures hanging around his house or even just in his wallet. (Yes I did check his wallet, no I didn't take any money)<br />
<br />
When I asked him today he got really quiet and asked me where I found the pictures. I told him the attic where I got the Christmas ornaments and he looked really upset. He asked me not to talk anymore about the pictures and to not go in the attic again even though he's the one who asked me to go up there in the first place. Jeez. Well I guess something must have happened because he went and took a walk even though I told him not to because he might be out there somewhere waiting to try and hurt us or worse. He didn't listen and kept going and left me and Dad at the house.<br />
<br />
I'm not really gonna ask him about that stuff again but now I'm really curious. Dad said that Simon was just a crybaby who probably didn't get enough money from his parents but I dunno...he seemed really sad when he walked away.<br />
<br />
Whatever...anyway, things have gotten quiet again. Ever since the day I spotted him outside the school and freaked out and left early, I haven't seen him again. That makes me more nervous than calm because I can feel him watching but I can't see where he is. I just feel like he's always there, waiting for me to mess up or something and take me away again. I haven't been able to sleep well and Leah is getting worried about me. I'm falling asleep in classes and not getting my work done. My therapist isn't really helping anymore even though she's really trying to figure out what's happening to me now. She's says it's Post Traumatic Stress Disorder but she'll never know that the stress never left because the problem never did.<br />
<br />
I don't know what to do...Simon and Dad are talking to me or each other as much and I know Mom is pregnant. I can read her blog even though Dad tried to make sure I wouldn't. I think I'm starting to get sort of numb to these things though. I keep reading all these bad things happening, seeing Simon worrying and Dad drinking more, and waiting for him to come and kidnap me or kill me, but I'm not scared anymore. It feels like I'm losing my emotions if that even makes sense. When I talked to dad about it he tried to understand but because he doesn't really experience emotions either (I think that's a psychopath or something?) he didn't really know what to say. I think he thinks that I'm starting to become like him and he hates that.<br />
<br />
It's been pretty bad around here and I really don't think it's gonna get better.<br />
<br />
I dunno...how are you guys?Cynthiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03483385015410426583noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4041846327845623161.post-7066080286346668832011-11-24T15:37:00.001-08:002011-11-24T15:37:03.218-08:00Happy ThanksgivingSpend it well even if you're going through tough times. I know we're trying to too.Cynthiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03483385015410426583noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4041846327845623161.post-34208521772008315682011-10-28T19:35:00.000-07:002011-10-28T19:35:10.546-07:00So Dad grounded me for going back to the field. I don't even know if he really knows what grounding is cause' he's been gone for my whole life, but Simon actually agreed and took his side. That isn't fair-I was just trying to find some sort of clue to help Mom!<br />
<br />
Whatever. I need to get off, if they catch me on the computer they'll just get angry again. I think Dad is really starting to hate these blogs.Cynthiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03483385015410426583noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4041846327845623161.post-22283782116264546012011-10-23T23:26:00.000-07:002011-10-23T23:26:27.067-07:00Sorry I've been gone for so long but Dad didn't want me getting on the blog and updating. He says that Mom doesn't need to talk to me and she might want to. Well...I'm gonna talk to her if she tries because I'm tired of being scared of something happening. I haven't seen any sign of creepy guys who have lost their mind or the monster. And Leah has been really nice to me so...I'm gonna get stronger so I can protect my family and friends.<br />
<br />
And whatever is happening to Mom I'm gonna find a way to help her. I will. I know I will. Tomorrow I'm gonna try and go look in the clearing again. By the time Dad checks this I'll have gone there and back. He'll be angry when he finds out, but I'm not just gonna stand back and let Mom get hurt over something that's probably my fault.Cynthiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03483385015410426583noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4041846327845623161.post-58433245493601403092011-10-08T18:39:00.000-07:002011-10-08T18:39:26.089-07:00It's not CathyAll you assholes need to shut up and listen for a sec- that's not her, that's not my wife/ex-wife/whatever the fuck she was.<br />
<br />
Shit just trust me on this and I'll try and explain later.Cynthiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03483385015410426583noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4041846327845623161.post-50059936426226584632011-10-05T12:35:00.000-07:002011-10-05T12:35:42.723-07:00<a href="http://cathydelmont.blogspot.com/2011/10/hah-hah-ow-my-head.html">Someone posted on my Mom's blog.</a><br />
<br />
I don't know what's going on anymore. It could be her or it could be someone pretending to be her- oh god what do I doCynthiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03483385015410426583noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4041846327845623161.post-46093508482963342832011-10-03T11:13:00.000-07:002011-10-03T11:13:10.005-07:00Someone changed my Mom's background to her blogI have no idea who but I'm gonna try and find out. Nothing else has happened but maybe this means something...Cynthiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03483385015410426583noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4041846327845623161.post-22545450328043591532011-09-28T12:52:00.000-07:002011-09-28T12:52:58.926-07:00Last week I went and decided to look at the woods where everything had happened. Everything was still very dead looking and when I stepped into the burned areas I felt like something was watching me. It creeped me out but I tried to keep looking in case there was a clue somewhere about my parents. For a while I didn't find anything. I was just walking around and moving dead plants to see the ground better. The whole time the feeling of being watched continued and I was about to go back home when I did find something.<br />
<br />
It was my dad's eye patch. I don't know what this means but it's something. Maybe he isn't dead and he got away. Maybe that means that mom isn't dead either. I don't know but when I picked up the eye patch I started to feel really bad- like I was going to puke and my head started to hurt too. I don't know why my body reacted like this but I got out of there with the eye patch as fast as I could. Simon was upset that I had gone back without him and told me I was being, "Irresponsible and risking my life" but if there's anyone who can find my parents it's me.<br />
<br />
I hid the eye patch in my room and then went to bed. Nothing weird happened that night. I didn't have any nightmares and I didn't see any tall men in suits. In fact nothing bad has happened at all since that stomach ache at the field. <br />
<br />
I did go to Leah's house Friday. Her mom and dad are really nice and acted very...careful around me. I guess they know that I had gone missing for over half a year and that my mom is missing now. I dunno, Simon says that the story about my family got a lot of news time. Anyway Leah and I just sort of hung out and talked a lot about school, the other students, likes and dislikes, hobbies, and life. It was nice, I guess, to talk to someone my age. I couldn't tell her everything but she seemed like she actually cared and just wanted to make sure I was okay. I think I can see Leah as a friend.<br />
<br />
The therapist hasn't been much help really. I talk to her but she can't get anything out of me about what really happened. I told her I didn't want the hypnosis and Simon agreed because then I might have said something that got her in trouble.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Jade- We made sure not to let her do it. She understood and promised not to push the hypnosis.<br />
<br />
Elaine- So I guess Morningstar wasn't a good guy after all? We all saw this coming so I don't know why you trusted him after everything he's done...<br />
<br />
Ridley- I'm not sure what that's all supposed to mean. Cryptic stuff is pointless and a waste of time.Cynthiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03483385015410426583noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4041846327845623161.post-44670719462901188732011-09-20T10:21:00.000-07:002011-09-20T10:23:27.563-07:00The therapist is nice enough, I guess. Her name is Dr. Moore and she's trying her best to be friends with me which is nice. I can't tell her much- she keeps trying to figure out what happened to me when I was gone but I lie and say that it's all hard to remember. She says she wants to try some kind of hypnosis to help me "recall the memories" or something but I don't want her to know. I can't let another person find out about him and his minions.<br />
<br />
She did say something that was good though. She said that I needed to get a hobby so that I wouldn't think of what happened but think about what's happening now. So I think I am going to talk to Simon about helping some of you guys. We wouldn't be able to do that much, maybe just let you stay at the house for a few days. I do wanna meet some of you guys after all. But it's up to Simon because it's his house.<br />
<br />
I also am gonna try looking for Mom and Dad. I can't sit around and do nothing. They could be alive! And if they are I need to find them because they tried again and again to find me and save me. It's my turn to try and help them and you guys. Tomorrow after school I am gonna go over to the woods where the fire happened and look around. The police already checked a while ago but maybe I'll find something they didn't see...I hope.<br />
<br />
The girls in class are still being mean to me. They boys don't really care as much, they just ignore me. Leah is still talking to me. Yesterday she invited me to hang out at her house for a while and I said no. But then she found a good time for when I would be free and even talked to Simon about me going over to her house. Simon agreed and told me later that it would be a good idea for me to hang out with Leah because I needed to talk to more "kids my age". I know he wants the best for me but I'm scared something bad will happen to Leah. I don't know. Whatever happens I am going over to her house Friday since I meet with Dr. Moore on Mondays and Thursdays.<br />
<br />
I think I'm excited but nervous. What if I mess up and Leah hates me? Or what if she was planning on being mean to me this whole time? What if...she's one of them? And he finds me again... I have to stop thinking like this. It isn't normal and I don't wanna always be by myself.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Fleisch- I guess it is. Maybe it'll work better when I keep going to it.<br />
<br />
Elaine- I read that you helped Morningstar. I hope you know what you're doing because I don't trust him at all. He hurt Kay and he wants to hurt me and my family. I don't like him.<br />
<br />
Ridley- I can't trust you because you still work for him! He's still connected to you and that makes you bad.<br />
<br />
Neo- I hope it helps me too. Thanks.Cynthiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03483385015410426583noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4041846327845623161.post-32065956328338143562011-09-09T18:58:00.000-07:002011-09-09T18:58:09.265-07:00TherapistI finally agreed to let Simon find me a therapist last week. He says it's the best thing for me and I guess I kind of agree. I need to stop having these flashes so I can talk to other people without looking weird. And I know I'm kind of...messed up from staying with Redlight and him. I'm gonna start seeing them soon- some time this week probably. Apparently Simon will drive me to them after school between shifts or something.<br />
<br />
Ryuu- I won't be able to tell them the whole truth, but I guess they might be able to help me calm down...<br />
<br />
Fleisch- I could try collecting some things. Maybe it'll help take my mind off of thinking about some things. But thanks for the nice words.<br />
<br />
Jean- I don't think that's a bad thing though. Mom liked girls and that was okay. I don't really think it's a mean thing, but I guess if some people say it it can be.<br />
<br />
Grendel- Monster slayer? I don't really know what you're talking about but I do know you don't need to say things like that about me when you don't even know me.<br />
<br />
Jade- I do like Batman. I liked reading and watching about Superheroes back before all of this happened. Thanks for telling me all of that- it helped to read. You're a very nice person.<br />
<br />
Neo- Thanks. I'm not really sure if anyone is expecting me to do something, but I guess maybe people are hoping I won't go crazy again.<br />
<br />
Numbers Man- Thanks I guess? Are you alright?Cynthiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03483385015410426583noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4041846327845623161.post-27495540965674452682011-08-31T14:19:00.000-07:002011-08-31T14:19:38.149-07:00I've been trying really hard to make some friends but so far only Leah will talk to me. But I think the other girls don't want her to because they've been making fun of her hanging with me even though it's usually only for a few minutes. Leah says that it doesn't matter and that she doesn't care what they say, but I hate seeing her get bullied because she's trying to be nice to me. I feel like I'm ruining her life at school.<br />
<br />
The girls in my class and some of the older girls too have been calling me a dyke. I don't really know why they are because I looked it up in the dictionary and it said it was a levee or something and even asked Simon but he sort of stammered and said I didn't need to know until I was older. They said I looked like one because of my short hair and baggy clothes, so I'm guessing it's supposed to be bad. Does anyone know what it's supposed to mean?<br />
<br />
They've also been making sure I can't sit with them during lunch and if I have to partner up with anyone they usually act like it's the worst thing in the world. It's been hard because it looks like the other kids just don't want me to be there. I think Leah is just nice to me because she feels bad for me. I've been bullied before- back before I met Rachel kids pushed me around because I was really shy and awkward. Now I speak my mind and act a little strange because of everything I went through and this has gotten me bullied even more than when I was quiet. It's weird how it's working out.<br />
<br />
Simon still wants me to see a therapist and I still don't want to. He's getting worried because he knows it's been hard for me and he has no idea what to do because he's never had a kid to take care of before. I feel bad for suddenly living with him and making him have to do a lot more work, but I know there's no where else I can go.<br />
<br />
I just have been feeling lonely and kind of sad for the past week. I think I'm getting depressed or something but I don't know. I keep having flashes but they aren't as bad as when I first got put into school. I've been going out and hanging around parks and swinging because I finish my homework really fast. I always try looking for him when I'm there or near the woods. I expect to see a tall, faceless man suddenly appear and for the nightmare to start all over again but so far I haven't even felt anything to something being not normal. I guess maybe he really has left me alone.<br />
<br />
I just need something to keep me from thinking because then I want to do stupid things that would get me or Simon hurt.Cynthiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03483385015410426583noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4041846327845623161.post-532452183563075702011-08-23T15:36:00.000-07:002011-08-23T15:36:31.251-07:00FriendsI've been trying to make friends at school but it's been really hard. I keep having these flashes of being with Redlight and the others when people come near and try to talk to me. Every time it happens I act strange and usually scare the other students off. All the teachers and the principle know that I went through something because Simon told them, but none of the kids do and it's becoming really hard. They're already avoiding me and only talking to me if they have to.<br />
<br />
I wonder if I'll ever make any friends or if I'll have to be alone because of the things I have done and seen.<br />
<br />
There is one girl who keeps coming back and trying to make friends and I've been trying to act as normal as I can, but it's hard. She's smart enough to know that something is wrong and that I'm hurting but she's nice enough not to be nosy and ask. Her name is Leah. She's really pretty and funny and has a lot of friends and I wish I could be just like her. She's a lot better than Rachel was to me.<br />
<br />
The other day some of the boys made fun of my short hair because I basically got a pixie cut and apparently I look like a boy. It was weird because I didn't want to cry- I've had to take worse insults than that before- but I did want to scream at them and beat them up. I think I got a bad temper and I don't want anything to happen anyone.<br />
<br />
Simon says I could always go and see a Therapist but I don't want to. There's no way they could understand what I've gone through and make me feel better. There's just no way at all.<br />
<br />
And Kay, if you're reading this, I want to let you know that Mom wouldn't want you acting like this at all. She would want you to be happy and keep living for her...if she really is dead. Dad would probably roll his eyes and tell you to stop being a baby. So please, please, stop and think about what you're doing. <br />
<br />
Thanks to everyone who has been giving me nice comments, it really does make me smile that you guys care.Cynthiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03483385015410426583noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4041846327845623161.post-11027658897585601932011-08-17T16:36:00.000-07:002011-08-17T16:36:22.439-07:00SchoolSimon and I have been talking over the last few days that I've stayed with him and I asked him to put me in school. I need something to take my mind off of what just happened and he agreed only if I promised to tell him if anything strange started happening again. I did and so I had my first day today.<br />
<br />
It was weird being in school again. There were so many kids around me and I kept having these flashbacks to when I was stuck in the warehouse with all the other proxies, except they were usually older than me. Now I was back in a place where there were people around my age everywhere. The adults in charge weren't speaking in code or clawing at their faces, they were actually trying to help and teach kids. They cared. I got so used to everyone not caring about me and just having to take care of myself.<br />
<br />
The day after I made my last post Simon took me out to get whatever I wanted. I know he's trying to make the situation less bad but it's really hard. I'm happy he's trying though. I ended up getting my hair cut very short because in the months that I had been staying with the others it had gotten tangled and gross from all the dirt. I also lost a lot of weight, or that's what Simon says, so he's been making sure I eat three meals a day. I'm not really sure how much I ate while I stayed with the proxies. I think I got all my food myself.<br />
<br />
But I guess school was okay. I had to take a few tests to see if I could go into the sixth grade since I missed so much of fifth grade, but I passed them. So now I'm starting Middle School. Mom and Dad would be proud.Cynthiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03483385015410426583noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4041846327845623161.post-54548836225274234172011-08-14T05:11:00.000-07:002011-08-14T05:11:08.047-07:00Free<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style>
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<div class="MsoNormal">In the beginning there was me and Mom.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">In the middle there was me and Redlight.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">By the end there is me and Simon.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">There was always a missing person in all of this. That person was Dad- Tony. I miss him, I really do. Even though everything that happened was just…/bad/ he still came back for me. He, Mom and Simon came for me. I guess I should explain because so much has happened.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Yesterday I sent a message to Mom and Dad. I remember I put down a time and place for them to meet me and I also remember feeling scared and nervous. I didn’t really go crazy like I wrote. I sort of…pretended it. When I tried to kill myself and saw Mom and Dad reaching for me I snapped out of it. Redlight’s hold on me must have been broken on my end or something because I couldn’t feel his influence anymore, a voice in the back of my head telling me to do things to prepare for him. There was still something there, something dark and tangled in my mind. I think it was Him. That thing I called Dad for a while.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I had to pretend to be under Redlight’s control still though so I wrote that entry so he wouldn’t lock me up when he figured out I had tried to kill myself. He actually believed my lie which still surprises me because I thought it would never work. But the lie brought him back to me after being away for a long time.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The next day Redlight took me and a few things in a bag and we went to the place I told Mom, Dad and Simon to meet me. The place we stopped was a big clearing in the middle of the woods. There was a tree stump near the middle, I remember, and Redlight told me to go sit on it and wait for my parents and the policeman. I don’t know how long I was there, but it must have been a while because my legs fell asleep. After a while though I finally heard Mom and Dad. Dad more because he was talking loudly about how he hates coming in the woods and Mom was just saying a few things during his pauses.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I guess they saw me a few moments later because Dad stopped talking. I couldn’t turn to look at them; I was staring at Redlight who motioned for me to stay quiet. At the time I got really scared, I didn’t know what to do because he was taking out some things from the bag and he always has horrible things with him. It turns out it was two weird guns, I think one was a stun gun. Even though he had told me to stay quiet and not move before we got to the clearing I couldn’t help but turn when he suddenly shot a dart out and hit Dad in the neck.<span> </span>He only got a few steps and then he fell over. Redlight started laughing but then Simon pointed a gun at him.<span> </span>But before he could do anything, he froze up, and I saw these little cords out of his chest.<span> </span>Mom was screaming, and Redlight was just laughing as he reloaded, then shot her too.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I remember wanting to cry when I saw Mom hit the ground and see her body twitch from the electrical blasts. I was so scared because suddenly it was just me and Redlight and he had the most horrible smile on his face that stretched the bits of tree I could see slivering around on his head and one of his eyeballs was hanging loose out of the socket. The last thing he brought out of the bag was a pipe and he told me to hold it for him. He went over to Dad and grabbed him by his hair and pulled him up to make him look at me. The both of them were staring and Redlight told me to “have at it”. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">He wanted me to hit Dad with the pipe over and over until he died. I know that’s what he wanted. And Dad couldn’t do anything, the dart must have had some bad drug or something in it because his fingers were able to clench but the rest of him was staying still.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t keep fooling Redlight anymore because I couldn’t kill my /Dad/!</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I remember walking up to them not knowing what was going to happen, just scared of what was going to happen to me. For the first time in months I realized there were no more side options I could take to live, I only had one and I’d probably die. The thought of actually being /dead/ scared me so bad my hands started to shake. I wondered if it would hurt, if it would take long, if I would go to Heaven after killing so many people, if Hell was as scary as I thought it was…</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">And then he kept screaming at me to do it and I hit Redlight in the face with the pipe instead of Dad. It cut his face and while it bleed a tree root started pushing through and wrapping around his eye- I wanted to puke or scream, but before I could Redlight got really, really angry. Simon told me he said, “You miserable little punk” or something, but I didn’t hear anything except TV static because I had broken free of Him. Of Slenderman. I did it, I got free because I wouldn’t obey him and Redlight, and I was me again.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">That was when Redlight suddenly picked me up, yanking the pipe out of my hands, and threw me to the ground. It hurt so bad, I think I landed on a rock, but he wouldn’t let me get up. He just grabbed my hoodie and made me look at him. His face was so ugly and his skin was /moving/ from the tree parts trying to grow out of him. That was when I was able to scream.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">It hurt. Everything hurt because he was killing me from the inside. He was trying to force me out of my own body after I had finally gotten it back for myself and it /burned/. I was so sure I had somehow caught fire but I couldn’t move away at all. And all I could do was cry and scream for someone to help me because it all /hurt/.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Mom shot Redlight in the back.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">All of a sudden Redlight had frozen with a shocked look and let me go. He made a few watery noises and stumbled away. That’s when I saw Mom standing there with Simon’s gun, hands still shaking from the effects of the tazer. We made eye contact and I promise a million words were able to be said without actually saying them. She loved me, she’d do anything for me, and she’d never stop until I was safe.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Slenderman appeared behind her and all I could do was stare and gasp. I didn’t even get to warn her. He had come when Redlight fell to the side, probably knew that one of his own important people was dying. He was angry, that I know for sure. Even though I had broken free, there was this noise in my head like a siren. It hurt to hear and even though I reached up to cover my ears and curl into a ball I saw what happened next so clearly. Slenderman cut off the arm holding the gun from the elbow down with one of the many tentacles slashing through the air. Mom started screaming and holding her injured arm and she fell to her knees.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Beside me I turned in time to get an even worse sight: the tree had finally caught up to Redlight. It was growing /out of him/ from his eyes, nose, mouth, ears, every inch of his body. Blood was being pushed out of him from the inside violently, leaking out and covering the ground. Redlight was dead. He was actually dead and he wouldn't be able to come back.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"> I think I might have been screaming but I’m not sure. Everything was happening so fast and I was suddenly pulled to my feet by Dad. He had managed to get up and over to me even though he was moving slowly like he was half asleep.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Dad pulled me over to Simon, shoved me into his arms while Mom somehow got up and came over as well. There was so much blood and everyone was crying and Slenderman was so angry and that tree was just /taking over/ Redlight.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">They told him to take me away. They told him to take me and not look back, to get me away from Him. Mom looked him in the eyes and made him promise to take care of me and keep me safe. Simon did. Dad pulled me into a hug and told me over and over that he loved me and that no matter what I was always gonna be his daughter. Mom kissed me on the forehead before Dad picked me up and put me in Simon’s arms. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">And he took me away. I screamed and kicked and clawed and tried to go back to them because they were /going to die/ if we just left them there but he wouldn’t let me go.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The last thing I saw was Dad picking up Simon’s gun, pulling it out of my Mom’s cut off arm, his other arm pulling Mom in and holding her up while she held her bloody stump, and pointing the gun at Slenderman.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">He was laughing the entire time he shot at him even though he knew it wouldn’t work. He was laughing and calling him names, telling him to just try and kill him. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The trees around the clearing caught on fire and I couldn’t see anything else.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Simon told me I passed out when the fire started, which I guess I did because I don’t remember him driving me to the police station. I do remember someone asking me what happened, and sounding surprised because I was alive. I think everyone thought I was dead. Simon did most of the work after the forest. He made sure no one really bothered me. Apparently I’ll be staying with him now because the only known relatives in my family other than my parents, Dad’s parents, mysteriously died the same day I was found. Their house caught on fire due to some sort of power surge. That’s what the police say anyway.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I am writing this on Simon’s computer. He’s standing behind me and correcting my grammar while making a list of things an eleven year old girl would need to live with him.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">For the first time in a long time I know how to feel. I am sad. I am sad and crying while I write this because Mom and Dad were left behind and I couldn’t do anything. The police said they didn’t find any bodies in the clearing, just a giant tree which they had never seen before. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I am praying for the first time in months to God that my parents are alive and got away. I just want my Mommy and Daddy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted and that’s all I never got. I just want my family back and happy so we can do normal things and make friends and grow up together. I want to go to the movies with Dad and listen to him complain about how lame it is, I want to bake a cake with my Mom one more time, I want to go to bed knowing that everything is going to be okay because Mom and Dad are there and they will never let anything bad happen to me.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">It’s all I want. It’s all I want. Please, please, it’s all I want.</div>Cynthiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03483385015410426583noreply@blogger.com11