Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Everyday I go to work, make sure Cynthia gets to her therapist appointment, make sure Tony is fed and not too drunk to cause a scene, and then get back late enough to fix a small meal for myself and maybe watch whatever is on the television. If you had told me this time last year that I would be taking care of a drunkard, sociopathic father and his not-technically-related-but-equally-crazy-daughter while looking for their psychotic, one armed,  pregnant mother, I would have called you all idiots and then tried to see if I could arrest you. But things have changed and I don't know how they've managed to get so screwed up.

I'm having these nightmares. It's me but it's myself and my younger self. And younger me looks so scared like something is coming to get him. I know it's not that monster-- I just know it's not!! It's something worse. It's the woman I was scared of for so many years of my life. But she's teamed up with the monster and I can't escape, I can only watch. This nightmare keeps replaying over and over every night. I hardly get any sleep anymore! I don't know how I haven't passed out yet. I figure it's the coffee that keeps me going.

I'm starting to see things too. Little flashes in the corners of my eyes, like something is there but vanishes when I look. Is this normal for a victim?? Am I going to go crazy? What do I do to stop this??? Tony and Cynthia seem to be holding up fine but I'm getting worse and worse and I don't know what to do...


1 comment:

  1. Talk to them about it. And consider the healing powers of fudge. Seriously. Fudge can make things feel a little better.

    That and serious exercise. Both help. And one has the added benefit of keeping the other from making you go up a pants size.