today today i went to the park. agaain. it was fun i guess but none of the other kids wanted to be around me. they said that i looked scary and i think i did because parents didn't want them around me either. rachel was upset because they were being mean to me but i told her it was okay.

my brothers and sisters follow me around everywhere. everywhere. i amsure that they don't look less scary with their hoodies and xs and circles and the red. but they aren't allowed to leave me alone or else they'll get in trouble because big brother will be mad.

i don't like eating that much anymore but they make me eat anyway. rachel says they poison it and to not let them control me because Daddy is the only one for me. where is Daddy? i haven't seen Him in a while. it makes me sad that He's not here because sometimes i can see Him standing outside making my brothers and sisters hide in fear and making me smile.

i am very pale. i looked in a mirror yesterday and rachel wasn't in it but i was. i look        empty

you

know

who i don't like? hehethat girl what is her name CELESTE right? i don't like that flower girl with her either she is very annoying and they make me angrrryyy.

they just keep going on and on and on and on about how they would never be a part of my family and never even thought about joining us and everyone looks at them with all this hope and blablahblah. i think celeste would be nothing without that zeke person. violet or whatever her name is complains that zeke ruins everything but from what i looked at celeste needs zeke and zeke needs celeste.

so what would happen if i took one of them out of the equation? i wonder...heh

hehehehehe

today rachel and i ate some leftover ham and cheese sandwiches. they weren't that good and made me throw up a little while after but that's okay. my brothers and sisters insist on following me everywhere it's kinda annoying. i haven't seen Daddy in a while but i can feel Him. He's there, watching me, making sure i'm okay.

He also says it's high time you remembered something big daddy. i think you're gonna love this one.

i am going to go and play with a particular family member who is annoying me. rachel says we can use knives this time. i like knives.

hehehe

for the record robbie, i went out with some of my...family and bought some jellybeans. they tasted horrible but then again food tastes really bad to me these days, so it was nothing new. i think there's something wrong with my mouth so i don't know if tastes are going to be able to help me. hehehehe but i'll get some pixie sticks and eat and eat and eat and maybe they'll leave me alone if i get a stomach ache and start throwing up.

i shared the food with rachel too, she was very happy to eat something after so long. i don't know how she can keep food in with her guts hanging out of her body but she smiled and thanked me. we're getting along right now but people look at me strangely when i talk to her.

kay

kay please don't fight zero. i don't like him, the others talk about how he kills people and i like you. even big brother doesn't like him or trust him. zero i don't know if you even know this blog exists but if you do i want you to leave her alone. if you hurt kay i will hurt you. i will hurt you so much you won't be able to run ever again or swing your stupid blade or kill.

i'm having trouble thinking lately. my hands are shaking every so often and i almost fell over. i think it's starting to work...the change, that is.

hehehehehe rachel is telling me i've written enough. i think i have too.